2.1.09

the average speed of an ejaculation is 28mph.

your little deaths are empty wins and heavy losses
goals to reach before you die
a list
and when you pride yourself on extreme adjustment
the change needed to become anything at all
it's what you make versus what you leave
how do you leave it behind?
when is enough not enough?

there are tiny screams that say youll leave me behind
when all that's left of you is Xs and Os, i will be long gone
and i will ask the world to be quiet with a finger to my lips
i will need time to think about your hand against my forehead
hot like a fever
when one's faults outweigh one's defenses,
what's left?
where am i supposed to go from here?
this empty space ive discovered and kept for my own

and when you pride yourself on extreme adjustment
the change needed to become anything at all
it's how you leave versus what you made
when did you have the chance?
you simply can't avoid it.

and we ran forever
arm in arm
demanding the world bend around us
shaping it to our specifications
and leaving what we didn't want behind
it was a victory everyone regretted
i was at once whole and discordant again
in his arms
in yours
the cold chafing my arms and the love keeping me warm

and this overwhelming pride in your adjustment
in the changes you made to become something else
showed me how you made it and what you left
and that you didn't have a choice
it was gone somewhere around "one day"

when you blink and suddenly the world has changed and you are grown
we'll run arm in arm
just like we did
and the world will whisper,
dance with us
as we jump into our own heads
our convoluted and seperate futures

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