and i smell you everywhere i go.
your fingers like spiders across my web of little white lies lie awake and stare at the ceiling feeling empty feeling whole feeling holy. i am so tired but i can't close my eyes.if i only think in numbers will you let me close my eyes? if i only dream in colors will you kiss my sleep goodnight?
i am so glad i think in nonsense.
sleep is upon us (knock-knock-knocking on my god damned door).
good night, moon.
rose pedals, bike petals
flowers in the street
on the sheets
will the real hartbreaker please stand up?
she's got an empty bottle and a sore throat,
walking past the elevators
she looks at the sky and shouts,
WILL YOU BE THE ONLY ONE
only it comes out garbled and cold
but she won't go to sleep until sunshine fills her cells.
She wants to glow.
She wants the glow.
Incandescence is her greatest goal.
i am the water under your bridge.
i am the dirt under your nails
(because there's always dirt under your nails)
i will always be here,
revolving and resolving and recalling shit that has never ever happened
who's gonna burn you?
who will tear you down?
i am invincible, whereas you are vulnerable.
you rely on me.
why would you give that much of yourself?
it's an impossibility--i'm someone else
as i dangle the car keys in front of your eyes
"oh no, not today. that brake will be my demise."
my name's close to mary keychain on your heart
an instrument's a long way from making art
i'll hit the button (where's the god damned nurse?)
my televised contract soliloquy curse
i can't wait forever
i will taste it on your skin (your skin your skin)
hope kills me and keeps me alive like a drug like a drip like electricity running through my veins. i reek of the bright side. i draw castles in the air like they'll sweep me away, magic sulfuric fires of aspiration with a longing stench and a lethal, slow burn. it's telling how i can't tell you. this thing with feathers will torture me indefinitely.
for once i'm writing from someone else's perspective. empathy means none of these emotions were mine.