31.5.09

The slant of your teeth, the way you open your mouth to speak.

You spoke,
heartbroken, heady hymns of heavy hums.
When you spoke,
I went to kiss you
gentle brush of lips.
Mine on yours.
The last time
I felt this
was not with someone
as
shining
as
you.
(You opened your eyes...)
You opened your mouth,
watched as truth spilled out.
I overflowed with hope,
beamed at the chance to catch it
by chance,
would you listen to me cry?
Could you help me peoplewatch?
Can we stay around each other for hours,
not speaking
but not kissing either?
Could you go without it?

I cannot help but compare you to her, love. Long legs, short bodies. Stretched out hearts. Eyes as wide as I. I cannot bear to attach you to her in my mind, for fear that you will become as she was. I apologize to both of you, in advance, in hindsight, for hiding you away in secret places, especially when they weren't where you wanted to be. (even my hindsight falls short of twenty-twenty.) I want to waltz with you. I want to place my hands on your hips and feel something not quite unrequited. I want you to break my heart.

1056. It is not nice to be around me.
1057. It is not wise to be around me.
1058. It is not safe to be around me.
and thus it progresses. quiet quiet. it's too late to expect goodness from this soul.

17.5.09

one in the morning and i'm yearning
full mouths are for yawning
empty hands for drawing
half-eaten hearts for scorning

two in the morning i'm tired
walking the tightrope electric, inspired
insipid incognizant liars
quagmires, sticky situations where I'm always trapped

three in the morning I hope I'm dreaming
screaming,
leaning too far, picturing your eyes gleaming
i'm fleeing
but i hope you'll figure out that I always get what I want.

goosebumps
my skin looks at me, says,
"this isn't art,"
says,
"you miss him too much,"
says,
"i'll miss you so much."

hairs on my chest stand up stand erect waiting for me to fall
banking on my sleep
but sleep is for the weak,
for the week
and it's still maybe the weekend
sleep is for when i work, when i function
when for every you there is only one me
y's and x's
exes and ohs

xoxoxoxoxoxo

sleep is for when i'm _____.
what's a five letter word for delirious?
what's a five letter word for joy?