26.6.08

i am quiet and hopeless and unrefined as
[[and quietly hoping that i will find...]]
the small smile that plays across your lips
as you
stare across the room.
there is a light at the end of this tunnel and i shouldn't be heading towards it, really, but it's the one thing i do best.
following everyone else's lights.
lights and flights and kites
taking bites from my slightly overcast heights.
and i moved faster than that city
one thousand little grins that all reminded me ofyoumaybe
i've given not a thought to rotting
and this is so contrived but it's the only way i make sense anymore.
the light is flashing and telling me how wrong i am
i have no time leftswept bereft and deft
down your wire tired and inspired and electric.
a scheme is a plot is a plan
is another useless attempt to twist your actions to suit my twisted mind
full speed ahead to keep myself from wanting you
i am mercurial.i am erosive and silent and silver
i reflect and damage and destroy everything i touch
and i build myself up with these portraits of what uses me best.
i am poisonous.
i cannot create--only destroy.
Blink.
Blink.
and you are awake and unanesthesized
as i show you exactly what i am made of.
Blink.
and i am slipping down your window, my hand slipping to your waist,
glass on glass on glass.
just another raindrop running your formerly flawless facade
sprawling cities and unwarranted goosebumps
write these words on your scarlet letter sky
curve them but they aren't nearly as graceless and open as your eyes.
i am small and out of place
i am soaring and for once not held down by my shadow
i am stagnated and i am pinned by every shallow gulp of air that i take into my pathetic lungs.
i am using all i statements.
i am crawling up the waterspout
i will perservere.

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