how full of love am I

Tea that refuses to boil,
steeped in cold.
(Will I have to ask to die? Will I?)
A cure for death in baby hands,
quick pedestals you can't control.

there's no time to be anything more than I am,
flighty and fighting.
Will you struggle into my hands?
Will you snarl at the last shreds of my skin?
The tears and tears and rips that bind me to you.
I will steal your death.
Take the tendons from my arms,
snap the cradle of my ribs,
draw veins open along my legs.
I will keep it for myself.

You never forget your first time.

One day I will shake your hand.
Congratulations.
You will live forever.
Peter Pan.
My first and favorite vampire.

But after that first breach,
I--.
After the first exchange,
the first as each other's,
the very first bound exchange,
I--.

you should have realized you could never hold what I have to offer.

these pedestals will crumble,
the world will implode.
everything will crash into itself;
smaller and smaller,
inconceivable steps towards breaking.
impossibly,
the particles will become compact in a way they never were.
The Law of Conservation of Mass.
but in any case.

I will curl
my hands
into fists in my lap,
careful to say it back.
I do.
I love you too.
Quiet imaginings cannot change that.
My heart is yours.

Sorry, dude.
My bad.

A luckier man
would not have to wait for my
unlucky response.