i am quiet and hopeless and unrefined as

[[and quietly hoping that i will find...]]

the small smile that plays across your lips

as you

stare across the room.

there is a light at the end of this tunnel and i shouldn't be heading towards it, really, but it's the one thing i do best.

following everyone else's lights.

lights and flights and kites

taking bites from my slightly overcast heights.

and i moved faster than that city

one thousand little grins that all reminded me ofyoumaybe

i've given not a thought to rotting

and this is so contrived but it's the only way i make sense anymore.

the light is flashing and telling me how wrong i am

i have no time leftswept bereft and deft

down your wire tired and inspired and electric.

a scheme is a plot is a plan

is another useless attempt to twist your actions to suit my twisted mind

full speed ahead to keep myself from wanting you

i am mercurial.i am erosive and silent and silver

i reflect and damage and destroy everything i touch

and i build myself up with these portraits of what uses me best.

i am poisonous.

i cannot create--only destroy.

Blink.

Blink.

and you are awake and unanesthesized

as i show you exactly what i am made of.

Blink.

and i am slipping down your window, my hand slipping to your waist,

glass on glass on glass.

just another raindrop running your formerly flawless facade

sprawling cities and unwarranted goosebumps

write these words on your scarlet letter sky

curve them but they aren't nearly as graceless and open as your eyes.

i am small and out of place

i am soaring and for once not held down by my shadow

i am stagnated and i am pinned by every shallow gulp of air that i take into my pathetic lungs.

i am using all i statements.

i am crawling up the waterspout

i will perservere.